When trying to find… me

So… my website hasn’t updated itself in a while. And this, unfortunately, has a reason. Like most things have reasons. It isn’t a good reason, at least not to me, but it is the only one that is even slightly understandable. In the last couple of months I’ve hit a major writer’s block. The energy to write was gone, the inspiration as well. I’ve tried multiple times but whatever came out of my fingertips and pen was utter nonsense and deleted or thrown away at the same speed I wrote it with. Nothing worked anymore.

When it comes to writing, this year has been rather tough. Ever since February/March, fairly little has actually come into actual existence. I’ve tried a bit of poetry, short things that seemed manageable. Everything to get the flow going. I wouldn’t say I’m a great poet, maybe not even as far as saying I’m a good poet, but it felt good to write at least something that I didn’t completely hate. My website was suffering to as I barely had any energy left to turn thoughts into words.
In Juli I took the greatest hit when it came to energy. I got my first house, it needed decorating, it required moving, setting everything up. Three months later I’m still struggling with basic stuff as making sure I have internet, or even a proper floor (a whole new nightmare after a leak was discovered in the concrete floor), and on top of that came work and the decline in time for social stuff. Personal issues surfaced, struggles starting months ago, ideas that were never launched started haunting me and only a short holiday to Crete brought some relieve. Hopefully things will get a bit better from now on as I’ve written multiple posts in this one evening as well as having actually enjoyed reading again the last two weeks. But all of this has also taught me how important personal care is, mental care as well. And that I should never understimate this aspect of life ever again.

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