It’s NaNoWriMo! National November Writing Month! This means that this month I try to tackle 50.000 words in one month. It’s a bit of a stretch, a challenge even more so considering the writer’s block is still biting me at the ankles. As I’ve only recently found inspiration and the love for writing again everything is still very much behind. This blog, my website, a multi-linear story I wish to launch before the end of the year. And now, three other projects have presented themselves to be written this month.
Juggling this while also having a fulltime job and a trip planned might be a bit much, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to reach it. My goal right now is to write at least one sentence each day and try to have at least one post written as well. This is also to create a bit of a more substantial back up here. Because this racing against the clock is not for me…
So… my website hasn’t updated itself in a while. And this, unfortunately, has a reason. Like most things have reasons. It isn’t a good reason, at least not to me, but it is the only one that is even slightly understandable. In the last couple of months I’ve hit a major writer’s block. The energy to write was gone, the inspiration as well. I’ve tried multiple times but whatever came out of my fingertips and pen was utter nonsense and deleted or thrown away at the same speed I wrote it with. Nothing worked anymore.
When it comes to writing, this year has been rather tough. Ever since February/March, fairly little has actually come into actual existence. I’ve tried a bit of poetry, short things that seemed manageable. Everything to get the flow going. I wouldn’t say I’m a great poet, maybe not even as far as saying I’m a good poet, but it felt good to write at least something that I didn’t completely hate. My website was suffering to as I barely had any energy left to turn thoughts into words.
In Juli I took the greatest hit when it came to energy. I got my first house, it needed decorating, it required moving, setting everything up. Three months later I’m still struggling with basic stuff as making sure I have internet, or even a proper floor (a whole new nightmare after a leak was discovered in the concrete floor), and on top of that came work and the decline in time for social stuff. Personal issues surfaced, struggles starting months ago, ideas that were never launched started haunting me and only a short holiday to Crete brought some relieve. Hopefully things will get a bit better from now on as I’ve written multiple posts in this one evening as well as having actually enjoyed reading again the last two weeks. But all of this has also taught me how important personal care is, mental care as well. And that I should never understimate this aspect of life ever again.
“So what is the author saying with the colour of the door?” Well, it’s red, the end!
I never understood this fascination of teachers with “the meaning” of the smallest things. Half of them seemed extremely farfetched to me, if not even utterly ridiculous. It’s a adventure novel, not a poem or some heavy prose!
Sometimes I wonder: if I ever get any works published, what kind of weird meanings teachers would find and learn their students. Stuff like this might be utterly nonsense to think about, getting published is a challenge on its own but finding your way into the classrooms or even bookclubs is an even bigger feat, and yet a lot of writers do so. Mostly because it’s entertaining and a tad distracting when you write. It gets your mind and imagination racing and makes you laugh, which is especially helpful when you’re writing a boring part or when you feel like you’re getting stuck.
So I’m currently writing the start of a thriller and I can’t help what people might see in the beginning that might become a recurring thing. Something with meaning. Half of the story will have meaning, if it’s up to me, mostly because it is inspired on real events. But does that immediately give it meaning? Not necessarily. For me it’s a part of a process, which is why I write and why I enjoy writing. But a red door might just be red simply because I saw a cool building with a red door.
Knowing myself, that might exactly be the case.